Party Poopers

As I put together my dog teams for our off-leash adventures, I need to be sure to get at least two "party animals" in the mix for any given trip to the dog park. Without a canine of kindred spirit, my compulsive chasers, wrestlers and squirrel hunters have no accomplice with whom to cavort. Despite their animated allegiance to me, they will look elsewhere for a better party. (Sounds like the college scene!) My magnetic personality is only as attractive as my ability to provide a rowdy play partner. I failed to do this yesterday and relearned my lesson.

Koda, my Border Collie mix "does not play well with others." He tries but his brusque, business-like mentality of squelching any activity he considers a potential uprising, throws a wet blanket on the flames of a perfectly good game of chase. The teeth flashing and commanding growls just don't spell 'fun-loving.' I've tried to explain that to him, that he doesn't need to manage the marauders, but just to go with their flow and enjoy the jaunt, but he just can't seem to transcend his genetics. The "taken-to-task" look on the wounded players faces was all to familiar to me.

It struck me with a rush of recognition... I'm often a wet blanket at parties in my world too. Mostly I can blame it on too many hours in my therapist's chair over the years. I kind of get used to going for the throat of the issue at hand, and posing imposing questions or insights into the conversation. Comfortable with this level of interaction, I manage to make everyone else uncomfortable. A scene from "Friends" comes to mind where some psychologist acquaintance of theirs 'wet blankets' Chandler as he entertains everyone with his jokes, with the comment, "I'd hate to be there when the laughter stops." A perfect line to kill the momentum of a playful moment, but unfortunately it is often my exact modus operandi. Lynette lose the bared teeth and commanding growl! Just go with the flow!

So I herey issue an apology to all of you, my friends and family, whose fun energy I have smothered with inappropriate words over the years. Forgive me, "I know not what I do." Help me to learn how to keep the laughter going when it is healthy to do so. Tell me to 'lighten up' when my wet blanket comes out. Every party has a pooper, but I'm done with that being me!

Born to be --------

Instincts are powerful forces in dogs (and probably in us, as humans, if we were to take a closer look at our impulses). It's not some random categories by which they separate out dog breeds at dog shows. Working dogs are compulsive workers. Hunter/retrievers live and breathe to chase a ball. Miniature breeds are bred to love a warm lap and Terriers can never get enough playtime. These categories describe the hard-wiring that drives each of these breeds.

Take the newest addition to our adventures, Bailey. A 10 month old Australian Shepherd, I have never seen such a natural herder. Even at this wet-behind-the-ears, young age, she not only has a passion for moving the other dogs around, (much to their dismay), but naturally incorporates the bumping and nipping techniques that mature herders employ. No one taught her, but inately she just knows how. Still small, she has to do a bit of jumping to reach that magic spot on the big dogs' necks, but with marksmanship finese, Bailey lands her prodding and sends them moving. Meshed with this herding instinct is a thick-skinned personality that is not intimidated by huge targets, or negative reactions to her efforts. Interestingly Bailey tried this once on my dog, Koda, who is also a herder, and the look he gave her would have felled Goliath! Somehow he clearly communicated to her that he was off-limits to her antics, and that they were on the same team. Now both Koda and Bailey ride watch on the herd, constantly scanning for any nuance of disturbance so they can quickly enforce compliance. It's like having built-in hit-men on our adventures!

Retrievers retrieve...ad nauseum. Lap dogs know just how to make themselves adorable enough to weasel their way onto your lap...and into your heart. Guard dogs exude attitude. Bird dogs have a magnetic pull to feathers, and border collies hypervigilantly keep their borders secured. Take away any of these dogs' freedom to express these natural inclinations and they become dull and depressed.

So what does that say about us...what instincts are we repressing? Ours get lost in our scramble to meet our family's and society's expectations. In order to fit in, we become experts at reading cues from others as to what is valued and desirable. So much so that we misplace our ability to access our own natural instincts and passions.

How about you? What invigorates your mind, imagination and heart? What makes you come alive? What sparks a twinkle in your eye? (Don't go there you men-folk! Think broader!) Maybe you've forgotten your happy thought. Do some digging. Remember back to the days before society squelched those natural inclinations. Sprinkle some pixie dust. Feel the wind of wonder lift you beyond the jurisdiction of gravity, even if just for a moment. What's there? Is it something you can find a way to re-engage with in your life?

Hopefully, unlike Bailey it won't involve nipping someone else's neck to run them in circles, but it might surprise you none-the-less! Fill in your own blank. "Born to be ----! (God is probably smiling even now as He sees you reconnecting with a piece of the Master-piece He made you to be!)